Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Step One: with Grace, Peace, and Cardboard Boxes

I have decided that what we need here is a little direction. My nearest and dearest have wonderful directions for their blogs: remodeling a first house, life as a new mother, a hobby, a gift perfected inside a New York apartment closet, etc. Well, since my life with hubby Husker now has a new direction, namely north to Chicago, I've decided to sync (let's be honest, it's more of a re-sync) the direction of this blog with our life as we move from Texas to Chicago. But this sync comes with a confession, so let's get the heavy stuff off my chest before we dive into the mountain of boxes taking over our apartment (pictures to follow).

I am in awe of my friends, namely the young women who have recently taken that big step into marriage and raising a family. I have read so many inspirational posts about being a young and educated woman who is happy and fulfilled raising a Christ-centered family, I could burst. It makes me so happy every time I read one, really it does. I'm glad that they are not letting mainstream views on what makes a "purposeful" life shape their views on God's blessing of new life and family.


I am not there, yet. God has other plans for me, for the moment, and as much as I rejoice in His gifts to me and the direction He is leading me, I am a sinner and comparison is surely the thief of joy.

After I was accepted into grad school, I found that my happiness and excitement at this new stage in my life was slowly being drained away by my selfish need for praise and validation. I received many happy congratulations from those I texted (literally within an hour of getting my happy news), but after only a week I was feeling one "liked" my excited Facebook statuses, no one commented on my last blog post. I started to feel like no one supported where I was in life, that through the silence was a judgement that I wasn't a mom already and I was lesser for it. It was childish, really, and I know that. But seeing every uploaded baby picture or pregnancy announcement get 100,000 likes, and many posts about the blessings of starting a family (but none about it being ok for God to provide a path for someone to school or a career first) started to hurt. I was brought back to this hilarious cartoon (and I know that none of you will take this the wrong way and think that I think so little of posts about family and babies - they are great, this is just an illustration of the temper tantrum that *might* have happened inside of me for like, 5 seconds):

But then I prayed about it, and God worked with me (ever so patiently) to remind me that He has just as happy of plans for me, and that I don't need to compare myself to others and worry that they won't think well of me simply because I'm pursuing my master's degree. My family supports me. My husband supports and loves me.

So friends who are at a different place in life than me, please accept my apology for being so childish, selfish, and narcissistic. And keep on being the amazing women of God that you are...and I am going to keep going down my path, and I will do it with grace and peace.

Now back to that mountain of boxes...observe:

From here on out, I will be chronicling our big move from Texas (with it's sun, heat, low cost of living and free parking spaces) to Chicago (with it's urban style, four seasons, and often gag-inducing cost of living).

This is Step One: Being Box Lady and Box Boy

At the moment, hubby and I are looking at an end of July move date. So, for the next two months, we will both be dumpster diving for boxes. There is no way on God's green earth that I am OK with paying hundreds of dollars for packing materials when I can get used materials from work...or Target...or Wal Mart.

I hope you all stay tuned and laugh along with us. I have no doubt that trying to coordinate a total upheaval of life so early in marriage will provide a plethora of opportunities for laughter, humility, learning, and entertaining blog posts.


Saturday, May 5, 2012


Hello friends, who, without my texts and occasional Facebook posts, might have thought my Husker hubby and I were kidnapped and taken across the boarder....we're still here, but maybe not for long.

I apologize for the extreme hiatus. My excuses run thus: 1) from Christmas until five weeks ago, I was spending all of my extra time working on my application to graduate school and my longer marathon training runs; 2) five weeks ago, I submitted my application (which included a 25 page quasi-fictional travel memoir short story) and have been spending all of my energy stalking the mailman and waiting, waiting, waiting for the admissions decision (waiting for something you want and something that could drastically change your life takes a lot of stretch a metaphor just a little, this was my version of a five week pregnancy...except that I didn't know if I would really have a I said, it's a stretch).

Now, due to a very nasty blood blister incurred on my latest 7 mile run, which is still healing and preventing me from running, and receiving and answer from DePaul, I have the time to share with you all that.... I WAS ACCEPTED TO THEIR MA IN WRITING AND PUBLISHING PROGRAM!


Freak out!

Deafen the poor admissions rep on the other end of the phone with screams and giggles of joy!

So now hubby Husker and I must make some big decisions in a very short time. The move from Houston to Chicago, the termination of two jobs and the search for two more, the quest for an affordable apartment, and finding the money to pay for tuition and undergrad loans will be taken with the utmost care, deliberation, and penny pinching. I'll be honest, I miss the Midwest, I miss being close to my family and my friends, and I really want to be a grad student, but I don't want those things so badly that I want to ruin the financial stability hubby and I have managed to sustain these nine months of marriage. 

But I have faith. God sat with me and wrote my short story. He was with that admissions committee when they looked over my application. Although the knowledge that I had never taken a creative writing course was fuel to the fire of doubt for me, it wasn't for Him.

If God and I are thinking along the same lines (and sometimes this does happen), this Wolverine and her Husker will be moving to Chicago around the end of July. Fingers crossed and prayers sent...every day.